Confidence

There’s a saying in Chinese Medicine that I’m fond of: “A physician must be wise and he must be brave.”

I’ve noticed that when I’m having health issues-specifically ones that exacerbate a particular long-standing condition-my confidence in my medical ability drops quite a bit. I’m hesitant, self doubting, worried, a little gun shy. However otherwise, my confidence is absolutely unshakeable. I’m like an NFL cornerback in that respect. No matter how bad I screw up, I’ll get furious with myself for making a mistake and then it’s done. On to the next play. If they scored on me, no matter. I’m staring the opposing QB in the eyes and mentally daring him to throw at me again. I don’t know if this is a blessing or a curse. I’m told that its a characteristic of just about anyone who does something under a lot of pressure and is genuinely good or even great at it, the ability to shrug off a mistake and get back on task immediately like it never happened.  Now pride and egoism are always chief worries of mine. In my opinion, they need to be guarded against at ALL times. However, if they are successfully defended against then it may be that my constant and driving feeling of “let me try. I can fix this” could turn out to be a very good thing.